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11/13/06 12:16 PM
 
Comment by Lhyzz Lhyzz is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
The flowers are staring at me because they are evil. Won't somebody please kill the evil flowers? The noodles keep dancing on top of my bookshelf because they are evil. Won't somebody please kill the evil dancing noodles? I know that somewhere there...
 
11/13/06 12:28 PM
 
Comment by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
That is nothing but awsome.
 
11/13/06 3:00 PM
 
Comment by Lhyzz Lhyzz is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
I do what I can.
 
Places I May Have Left the Baby - From 2004
11/22/06 2:52 PM
 
Comment by Lori Lori is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
In 2004 you had a heck of a premonition.....
 
Places I May Have Left the Baby - From 2004
11/22/06 2:59 PM
 
Comment by kate thaete kate thaete is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
too funny. but remind me to never entrust you with something/one valuable.
 
Places I May Have Left the Baby - From 2004
11/22/06 3:15 PM
 
Comment by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
I had to add the 2004 thing to it, because no one who has met Betty would believe that she could be left anywhere.
 
Places I May Have Left the Baby - From 2004
11/24/06 11:45 AM
 
Comment by Guest
Best. Poem. Ever.
 
Places I May Have Left the Baby - From 2004
11/26/06 10:42 PM
 
Comment by rengal rengal is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
oh... my dearlawd... 
 
12/10/06 1:44 AM
 
Comment by debratikus debratikus is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
The city made all the benches uncomfortable to discourage homeless people from sleeping on them.
 
12/10/06 1:57 PM
 
Comment by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
Yeah, I noticed that most of the "sculpted" benches have big ridges that would dig into your side, while the furniture-like ones are often divided by arm-rests.
 
4/30/07 2:31 PM
 
Comment by chris chris is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
Having seen the title of this on my recommended list for the past few days a question has been nagging at the back of my brain. If the foot is missing how can it be on the pigeon?
 
6/7/07 1:45 PM
 
Comment by Lori Lori is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
Chris:  That's why *I'm* here!  I thought to find something deep here..... Alas.....
 
6/7/07 2:02 PM
 
Comment by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
I suppose, for the sake of argument, the pigeons could have someone else's missing foot on them. If the foot were big enough, you could fit it on every single one of them at once.
 
9/8/07 1:40 AM
 
Comment by Doug Doug is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
We saw this phenomenon in San Francisco too.   We saw one pigeon with no toes at all!  S/He was just walking around on two stumps.  Very, very weird!  Let me get this straight.  The people in charge of Operation "Homeless...
 
9/8/07 2:58 PM
 
Comment by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
It's not to control the population, it's to keep 'em out of certain areas.
 
9/8/07 6:15 PM
 
Comment by Lori Lori is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
Doug:  Now I'm fighting this mental picture of a pigeon with little crutches tucked under it's wings....
 
9/29/07 9:58 AM
 
Comment by SuBe SuBe is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
...and pigeon wheelchairs...is that with battery charged controls or must another pigeon push the maimed one? I can see it now...pigeon wheelchair races to fund replacement feet for the pigeons! Ooooo the mental pictures you have congered up...
 
2/24/14 9:40 PM
 
Comment by temerityguy temerityguy is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
Cranes are so annoying especially when you're trying to do work. I hope the blinds managed to drown at the noises too.
 
11/13/06 12:37 PM
 
Comment by Lori Lori is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
This sounds just like a Monday, doesn't it??  I love this one!
 
11/13/06 12:38 PM
 
Comment by kate thaete kate thaete is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
mmm, nothing lifts the spirits like day old raisins...
 
11/13/06 12:46 PM
 
Comment by Lori Lori is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
Well, the thing is....I think it would WORK!!
 
11/13/06 3:29 PM
 
Comment by rengal rengal is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
It's all true -- say it like it is, Aunt Roxie.
 
Turing Test - March 2004
11/23/06 12:02 AM
 
Comment by chris chris is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
This is really just an old sales chat transcript, isn't it?
 
Turing Test - March 2004
11/28/06 11:57 PM
 
Comment by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
Come now, if that were the case wouldn't there be something like, "Why don't you tell me more about where are all the uncut thai guys tonight 4 chat?  Is it a type of car?"
 
11/29/06 10:12 AM
 
Comment by Lori Lori is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
Paul!  You romantic fool!
 
6/29/07 7:37 PM
 
Comment by sbevis sbevis is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
There was a line in a movie about how every husband should write a song for his wife.  You have the hard part done.  Just make up a tune to go with the words "saliva river flows from your mouth.
 
12/30/06 9:46 PM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
we must protect our feet and so we sacrifice our shins and the back of our calves thick iron bolts set there when we are young holding those rusty boots on at night when the small animals come we hear their teeth clicking searching for openings to...
 
12/30/06 9:49 PM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
holding the smooth flat stone warm against my palm I look down into the water as its steam rises into the winter air from his chair on the bank Sugi explains that the felsendrachefluß is made up of many tiny runnels through which thawed glaciers...
 
11/13/06 12:05 PM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
my love my pretty one I would run to you but my leg is asleep I would crawl to you but you are all the way over there and you handcuffed me to the radiator after swallowing the only key my sweetness I desire your burning kiss against my cheek instead...
 
11/13/06 12:14 PM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
dearest child when it's raining and you feel a sadness on you the sun may come out and shine as bright as you please even as the droplets fall and you will fill with hope rush outside in stocking feet squint very hard and look past the ships in the...
 
11/13/06 12:30 PM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
it is said that in the Winter when the rains fell and the cold winds blew the devil got into the children and they screamed and cried for Summer and the parents went to the old man in the clean robe on the far side of town and he told them to explain...
 
11/13/06 12:34 PM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
January 2004 when the pipes froze I found you in the kitchen dying functionally dead but unusually warm when all about you was cold innards rustling whining like you contained twenty wounded animals I ripped you open cleaned you out leaving you a...
 
11/29/06 12:37 AM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
There were a lot of poems in 2004, and I often wrote them to "blank people," with no names, only feelings attached.  I wrote this one right after an auction where I was selling my comics.  I spent a lot of time hanging out with Jennifer, but...
 
Places I May Have Left the Baby - From 2004
11/22/06 2:39 PM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
honey sweetie calm just calm just calm down really we won't get anywhere if you okay I'll just talk through the door but you're going to ruin all of our plates and glasses and I'm not sweeping it up let's see I took the bus today metro route 132 or...
 
The Moth Who Knew Too Much
11/22/06 3:40 PM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
One morning, before fact and fiction were disjointed a simple amnesiac found a note on his bedside table it read "do not despair your idiocy you are in truth a wise sage who has become so advanced in his studies that he feared he would go mad so after...
 
Turing Test - March 2004
11/22/06 4:59 PM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
hi! what's your name? It's good to meet you, u know who this is! what would you like to chat about? do you can't sleep for work or as a hobby? tell me more about keep thinking about you is it a sport? do you play sports? what is being sorry for how I...
 
12/9/06 12:11 AM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
December 3rd, 2004 10:54a - Fußesser we must protect our feet and so we sacrifice our shins and the back of our calves thick iron bolts set there when we are young holding those rusty boots on at night when the small animals come we hear their...
 
12/27/06 12:14 AM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
when all the doors jump off their hinges and go tearing through the house we'll hide under the bed and listen to the hosts trying to tell them that doors can't do that sort of thing and later when the doors have tired themselves out panting piled on...
 
12/27/06 12:20 AM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
inside this dusty brass box one of thirty-seven forgotten curiosities I wait for the crowds that never come days the light peeks in through the wooden ceiling which we all know is someone else's floor we hear the scamper of children's feet and an old...
 
10/7/06 10:45 PM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
I avoided you today And your dull eyes Asian eyes There were too many people I saw you following them Switching between language First, "Give me money?" Then Chinese Depending on the mark You touched the old lady Right on the arm A small frail thing...
 
10/7/06 10:48 PM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
I always thought it was pigeon fights. Battles Rumbles Tough pigeons, staking out territory "Whatchoo doing in Westlake, smallfry?" "Yeah, go back to Union Station where you belong!" "Man, that's gull territory. I ain't goin' near that place." Even...
 
10/7/06 10:56 PM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
It was June 2003 and I was trying to figure out if I should meet you at baggage claim and as I looked at the rules for passengers I noticed a section which read: "due to their organic contents foods like cheese chocolate or fruitcake can be mistaken...
 
10/7/06 11:08 PM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
once I was told that the AT-AT Walker was inspired by shipping cranes somewhere in California the orange cranes by the Puget sound seem sinister sometimes while working for Amazon.com I would see them out the window and I dreamed of them lurching to...
 
10/7/06 11:25 PM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
"How come you're so happy every time I see you?" she asked "I just look at everyone I meet, and think 'Here is the face of God clothed in flesh capable of such grace and goodness that you can hear their soul singing,' you can't help but be happy in a...
 
10/8/06 12:38 AM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
in the universe next door we are holed up in our attic apartment Maurice is shaving my head with his father's razor so I can wear the rain hat and get more magazines to feed your addiction to collage we don't need to discuss it you're rivaling Max...
 
10/8/06 12:47 AM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
My Third Day in the Well sometimes the hallucinations are pleasant all day the smell of pumpkin bread has been overpowering it reminds me of the day it got so cold we baked four loaves and stuck our hands in them like mittens neither of us caring...
 
10/8/06 1:00 AM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
darting from desktop to clock cancelling plans in my head typing instructions that no one will read I remember the dream you were like an animal snarling all claws and teeth biting and grinning laughing roars and yes, some blood but I wanted you I'm...
 
10/8/06 1:06 AM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
when I come home and put my big monkey face through your beautiful web I wonder which annoys you more the tedious reconstruction or the fact that once again you failed to catch me
 
10/8/06 1:55 AM
 
Blog Entry by Paul Gude Paul Gude is offline. Click for Member Snapshot.
There was a man who lived in town whose face, it never wore a frown and charmed each lass from her dressing gown his name was John MacGruder he played the fiddle and the steel guitar could count all the nickles in a pickle jar set off one day to be a...
 
 
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